Right now, an elderly is being abused.

It could be you but are not aware of it. Even if you do, you prefer to be mum about it for fear of the repercussions. You fear that you won’t be taken seriously, be told that you are imagining things, or be told that you are getting senile.

Elder abuse is very real and it is happening every day. In fact, in 2017 1 in 6 people, aged 60 and above,  was abused in one way of another. What is tragic is that only 1 in 24 reached the authorities.

But what is elder abuse?

What is Elder Abuse

Elder abuse is an intentional act, or failure to act, by a caregiver or another person in a relationship involving an expectation or trust that causes or creates a risk or harm to an older adult (defined as someone aged 60 and above). – CDC (Centers for Disease Control and Prevention).

Elder abuse comes in many forms, but these are the most common…

1.  Physical 

This is the intentional use of force resulting in physical pain, injury or impairment. Giving inappropriate medications, restraints or confinement falls under this category.

2.  Emotional 

Emotional abuse is the act of emotionally stressing an elderly through yells, threats, ridicule, humiliation and constant blaming for everything.

3.  Psychological 

This type of abuse includes ignoring or isolating an elderly from friends or his social circle. It includes acts affecting the mental health of an elderly like terrorizing or menacing.

4.  Neglect: 

Neglect is the intentional or unintentional withholding or denial of medications, food, proper hygiene or sanitation, and social interaction.

5.  Fraud: 

Fraud is the misuse of an elderly’s financial resources such as checks, credit cards or bank accounts. This also includes stealing money or goods, forging an elderly’s signature with the intent of defrauding its owner.

6.  Scams: 

There are so many type of scams preying on the elderly such as paying out money for a non-existing price, investment schemes, phony charities, etc.

This is the most common type of elderly abuse and is dubbed as “the signature crime of the 21st century,” says Richard Corday, director of the Federal Consumer Financial Protection Bureau.

Scams are heinous because 90% are committed by family members and close friends. The rest are by caregivers and predatory outsiders.

Elder Abuse Risk Factors

An elderly woman worked for a friend as a house helper without pay. All she wanted was free meals and a place to stay.

A single mom in her younger days, she worked her butt off to send her two daughters to college. Unfortunately, shortly after they’ve found work, they left home. For a while they sent her financial support. Over time, her lifeline dried up forcing her to do what she was doing to survive.

Her case is not peculiar – it is one of the risk factors for elder abuse shown below:

• Being financially dependent on others
• Being physically or mentally handicapped
• Living alone
• Suffering from cognitive impairment
• Living with a dysfunctional family
• Suffering from substance abuse

Most of the victims are women, though some men suffer the same fate. They are those who have no family or friends nearby, and people with disabilities, memory problems, or dementia.

Signs of Elder Abuse

Elder abuse must be addressed before it can do more harm. But spotting it is difficult because most of the victims prefer to suffer in silence rather than bring it into the open. So if you care for an elderly in the family or a neighbor watch out for these signs:

• Non-illness related undernourishment
• Having poor hygiene
• Presence of bedsores
• Unexplained injury that hasn’t been properly treated
• Sunken cheeks or eyes evident in poor blood circulation
• Taking the wrong medication
• Frequent emergency room or doctor visits due to welts, bone breaks, cuts, burns, etc.
• Forgetfulness
• Lack of basic necessities such as water and food and utilities like enough lighting and heating
• Depressive symptoms and/or withdrawal from others
• Hesitant to talk freely or join a social circle

These are but a few but with long-term effects on the health and well-being of an elderly.

Effects of Elder Abuse

Elder abuse can affect the victims physically and physically and can take time to heal – if ever. Some of the victims many never learn to live normal lives again.

Physical effects:

• Infection from welts, wounds, broken bones and other injuries
• Persistent physical aches and pains that can affect a victim’s mental health
• Nutrition and hydration problems
• Exacerbation of a pre-existing medical condition
• Increased risk to falls
• Increase risk to premature death

Psychological effects:

Victims of elder abuse experience high levels of distress and depression. They may also suffer from:

• High risk of fear and anxiety reactions
• Learned helplessness
• Post traumatic stress disorder (PSTD)
• Sleep deprivation
• Loss of appetite

How to deal with Elder Abuse

Each year, hundreds of thousands of adults, aged 60 and above, are neglected, financially exploited, physically assaulted, or denied their basic needs. Many of the victims are too ashamed or afraid to report their predicament. And these will not stop anytime soon.

But you can help to minimize its occurrence.

Find the time to talk to the victim, and let him/her know what you think; that you think he/or she is being abused.

Get them to talk to you, to open up. Listen with empathy.

Then offer your assistance by letting them know of the various agencies that could provide them the necessary help.

If the situation warrants, don’t hesitate to call 911 or the police.

There is a plethora of venues elder abuse victims can get help from. For example, all communities have a local adult protective agency and many there are many national social service agencies, as well. It is all a matter of reaching out to them for help.

Other than the above, the following government organizations can provide more information on how to deal with elder abuse:

Elderly people may be frail and feeble, forgetful and bump into things at times. Many of them are ridden with medical issues, but they are not a burden. Even if they are, they are a burden worth carrying like you were when you were young.

~oOo~

The post What is Elder Abuse and How to Deal with It first appeared on Age With Charm.

Nothing irritates me more than the phrase, “At your age…” In fact, it is the cause of some of my petty quarrels with my daughter. It always makes me snap back, “At my age, what#8221; 

I won’t deny that I am old. Early this month, I turned 71 – way past the threshold age of 65 when one becomes an “elderly.” My age is etched on my face and hands, on the slowness of my gait, and pains in my knees.

But to be often told, “At your age…,” is irritating and aggravating. As if my age suddenly puts a cap on things I can do or cannot do. It’s kind of being constantly reminded, like a child, to behave.

Because of internal biological changes that come with aging, health and money issues, together with some genetic predisposition, elderly people tend to exhibit sensitivity to a broad range of issues and substances. And to be patronized will not make things any better for them.

So if you are a carer or have elderly people in your home, exercise sensitivity in dealing with them. Words can be misinterpreted or the slightest nuance in your tone can do untold psychological damage.

How to Treat Elderly People

Elderly people have been through a lot in life. Inasmuch as they don’t want to feel “entitled,” they also don’t want to be patronized. So here are a few things you can do to make them feel better…

1.  Treat them as human beings

Old age doesn’t make them less a human being than you or anyone younger. So treat them with the same respect you would a younger person.

They may have some physical handicaps or a little slow in processing thoughts and ideas but their sensitivity to the world around them has not diminished. Yes, they may be a little more patient than before, but they can feel if they are treated any less than they deserve.

2.  Talk to an elderly like you talk to a close friend

Baby-talking to the elderly is condescending. And raising your voice, unless he has hearing problems, can make him sulk and mope or, worse, respond in kind. Either way, you both lose.

So talk to an elderly like you would a close friend – warm, jovial, and amiable. This manner of talking can raise his self-worth and may improve his mental health.

3.  Don’t give a bit of advice unless he/she asks for it

My face always feels smitten each time my daughter advises me on things I have been doing long before she was born, i.e., when to sleep, what to eat, what clothes to wear, how to drive, etc. I think it’s plain ridiculous.

Elderly people have gone through a lot. No matter how highly you think of yourself, you haven’t seen, or done, or experienced the things the elderly in your care or home have.

So keep your opinions to yourself unless asked. Or if it is obviously for their benefit.

But say it nicely.

4.  Listen to what an elderly is saying

It is always impolite to interrupt a person who is talking. It is plain disrespectful to the elderly.

Wait for your turn – even during brief lulls in a conversation. His moments of silence may be due to memory problems or difficulties in his thought processes.

Remember that listening goes both ways. It is only through listening that you can give an appropriate answer.

5.  Speak clearly and distinctly

Enunciate clearly every word you say to avoid ambiguity or misunderstanding. Though they may not admit it, hearing loss is a natural consequence of aging.

Speak in a clear and friendly voice. If a hearing-problem is an issue, speak close to an elderly’s ear instead of shouting to avoid being taken as antagonistic.

6.  Be compassionate

Seniors, like me, don’t want to admit the struggles they face each day of their lives

They struggle with health issues, loneliness, nutrition problems, and aches and pains.

Some go on for days without somebody to talk to or remain indoors without feeling the life-giving warmth of the sun, while others have money issues. They inwardly grieve over their handicaps or the inevitability of death.

But for them, to bitch about the inconvenience or handicaps impose on them by age is counter-productive. They don’t diminish their struggles but burden them some more.

They just put a good face, merrily going about their chores despite the turmoil going on inside.

While they may not expect special treatment but would appreciate a bit of compassion, or understanding, or empathy.

7.  Put yourself in their shoes

Someone, younger than me, asked what it feels to be old. I told him, “get old first so you will know.”

Only the elderly knows how it is to be elderly. But in your moments of introspection or enlightenment, put yourself in their shoes, imagine that you are one. And you must. Because someday, you will be an elderly, too.

It would be tragic to ruin your old age by feelings of remorse for the treatment you gave them when you were young and could have made a big difference in their lives.

So even for a few seconds in a given day, imagine that you are them and they are you. That should give you a lot of insights into how it is to be old.

In this millennial-driven world, elderly people are often sidelined. Younger people take them as too slow, too cranky, or too sickly. Their time is passé and their thoughts and ideas are irrelevant in this hi-tech world.

Longer life spans and small birthrates have made the proportion of elderly people around the world go up. In fact, it is estimated that by the year 2050, 22% of the world’s population will be people age 60 and above.

Today 46 million Americans are aged 65 and above. This number is expected to increase to 98 million by 2060.

By then you will be one of them. Would you want to be treated then like how you are treating your elderly now?

Take it from Judi Dench who said, “Anything we can do to improve the lives of the elderly is welcome so far as I am concerned.”

Don’t you think you should do your share as well?

~oOo~

The post How to Treat Elderly People Without Being Patronizing first appeared on Age With Charm.